It took me some time, as probably happened to Buddha or Moses, to get this list together. It takes a lot of meditation and awareness, and infinite modesty, to find the truly Truth.
Behold the List of Wisdom. Thou shalt not read this list in vain.
– If you think your life is hard, you should try it on high–heels.
– There’s probably no god. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.
– There is no beauty without craziness. You can’t be pretty without going a little crazy.
– White leather boots should be forbidden by law.
– Bureaucracy should be considered a crime.
– Prostitution should be legalized, organized and treated as a real career. Whore legal rights NOW.
– Never mind very handsome men. They are all gay anyway.
– Never mind very old people. They’re all gonna die soon.
– Our mouths are not our vaginas. So don’t ask us to suck hard.
– Brittany Murphy is weird, Scarlett Johansson is a very bad actress and Vin Diesel could actually give a very handy husband.
– Make-up standards should be reviewed in some countries. They’re getting too…creative.
– Why oh why do men still use wigs?
– Do not use plastic bags. I don’t wanna hear your theories, just STOP USING THEM.
– There is, although people often mistake it, a considerable difference between love and a fucking amazing orgasm.
– “There is no unselfish good deeds, sorry.” (Joey Tribbiani)
– Pity and compassion are arrogance in disguise.
– If telling you that he’s gonna marry and have kids is what it takes for a fortune teller to convince you to move on, she will do it.
– There is absolutely nothing, not a single thing, that money can’t buy in Brazil.
– Deep inside some Europeans wish the Earth was plane and Christopher Columbus has never had that stupid idea.
– According to the bible, the antichrist would rise in actual times, would profane all words against god and would make use of all 7 sins to rule the world and be respected and followed by all mankind. There’s only one person who fits the profile: Paris Hilton.
– “When it gets down to having to use violence, then you’re playing the system’s game. The establishment irritates you, pull your beard and flick your face, to make you fight, BECAUSE ONCE THEY HAVE YOU VIOLENT, THEY KNOW HOW TO HANDLE YOU.” (John Lennon)
– You know what they say: bigger the foot, larger is happiness.