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THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED.

May 28, 2011


You will not be able to stay home, brother. You will not be able to plug in, turn on and cop out. You will not be able to lose yourself on skag and skip out for beer during commercials,

Because the revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be brought to you by Xerox in 4 parts without commercial interruptions. The revolution will not show you pictures of Nixon blowing a bugle and leading a charge by John Mitchell, General Abrams and Mendel Rivers to eat hog maws confiscated from a Harlem sanctuary.
The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be brought to you by the Schaefer Award Theatre and will not star Natalie Woods and Steve McQueen or Bullwinkle and Julia. The revolution will not give your mouth sex appeal. The revolution will not get rid of the nubs. The revolution will not make you look five pounds thinner, because the revolution will not be televised, Brother.

There will be no pictures of you and Willie May pushing that shopping cart down the block on the dead run, or trying to slide that color television into a stolen ambulance. NBC will not be able predict the winner at 8:32 or report from 29 districts. The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no pictures of pigs shooting down brothers in the instant replay. There will be no pictures of Whitney Young being run out of Harlem on a rail with a brand new process. There will be no slow motion or still life of Roy Wilkens strolling through Watts in a Red, Black and
Green liberation jumpsuit that he had been saving for just the proper occasion.

Green Acres, The Beverly Hillbillies, and Hooterville Junction will no longer be so goddamned relevant, and women will not care if Dick finally gets down with Jane on Search for Tomorrow because Black people will be in the street looking for a brighter day.
The revolution will not be televised.

There will be no highlights on the eleven o’clock news and no pictures of hairy armed women liberationists and Jackie Onassis blowing her nose.
The theme song will not be written by Jim Webb, Francis Scott Key, nor sung by Glen Campbell, Tom Jones, Johnny Cash, Englebert Humperdink, or the Rare Earth. The revolution will not be televised.

The revolution will not be right back after a message about a white tornado, white lightning, or white people. You will not have to worry about a dove in your bedroom, a tiger in your tank, or the giant in your toilet bowl. The revolution will not go better with Coke.
The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath. The revolution will put you in the driver’s seat.

The revolution will not be televised, WILL NOT BE TELEVISED, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers;
The revolution will be live.

Geni no país das Maravilhas.

October 5, 2010

Ontem eu pedi aos meus amigos do Facebook para que por favor alguém me explicasse, mas de maneira educada por favor, por quê essa aversão toda à Dilma.

Eu perguntei porque eu acho que é minha obrigação, como uma pessoa que não mora mais no Brasil, e principalmente como um que se auto-entitula politico, saber os dois lados da moeda.
Mas até agora nada. Nada eloqüente.

Hoje eu não votaria no PT, basicamente por 2 motivos:
1 – O PT já ficou no poder 8 anos. Democracria excercida é poder que gira.
2 – Não é novidade pra ninguém que qualquer partido político tem suas maracutaias. O PT nunca foi exceção. Tão certo é que cada vez mais é frequente a evasão de importantes representantes do partido, que saem do PT pra seguir sua ideologia em outra frequesia. Ideologia que alguns chamam, com uma conotação negativa vale dizer, “purista”.

Eu não votaria no PT hoje. Isso por um lado. Mas por outro, eu não odeio a Dilma. Não entendo por que cada vez que se menciona o nome dela é pra xingar, denegrir e jogar merda. Os votantes do Serrra não investem seu tempo dando razões pra votar nele. E sim pra que não votem nela.
Foi por isso eu perguntei. A estes que, ao meu ver, até então, criticavam com conhecimento de causa.

O que me surpreende é que as pessoas em São Paulo (parei de dizer Brasil quando na verdade a história é local) odeiam a Dilma mas não conseguem me explicar por quê. Simplesmente porque sim. O ódio vem, obviamente, não dela, e, surpresa, muito menos sobre o partido. É sobre o que ela representa: primeiro uma mulher, depois de ser da oposição. Com tudo que isso implica.

Meu consolo é ver que São Paulo, politicamente falando, cada vez apita menos, embora ache que por ser a força econômica tem mais direito que o resto. Eu vejo São Paulo como uma catalunha yuppie. Arrogante e bairrista, que acha que não é o resto do Brasil. Mas afortunadamente os 8 anos de Lula serviram pra mostrar à SP que não importa o quanto se esperneiem, não são maioria de votos.

Eu só queria que o estado talvez mais letrado e instruído do país, que tira tanto sarro do resto do bando de analfabetos, viesse com uma resposta mais inteligente do que a Dilma não, porque ela é feia e gorda.

Sigo esperando. Se vc tiver uma boa, seja grande ou pequena, me manda por favor.

We’re SO OVER Marisa Monte.

August 26, 2010

I just can’t stop listening to it.
www.ceumusic.com

ffw mag vs. ex-Menudo.

July 15, 2010

In Brazils there is a local magazine which must be really important because it is more expensive than a foreign vogue in Europe.

Anyway this month’s cover shows this lady in a glitter face, and I was, hum, that looks familiar. Where did I see that?

In the Latin Music channel, that’s where!

This glitter face over here, as hard as it is to believe, is Rob Rosa!! Well now he’s calling himself as Robi Draco Rosa, or even Draco Cornelius Rosa. A couple of years ago he was Robby Rosa. But a few more years back he was just ROBBY – the huge teen phenomenon from MENUDO.

The magazine cover says: “Future: Time Don’t Stop”.
Indeed, ffw. Indeed.

Orçamento folgado…

April 26, 2010

Last week, Sky have released their new campaign in Brazil, for the World Cup. It shows Gisele Bündchen scolding Pelé and Romario for missing two goals in previous World Cups.

I’ve found it a little awkward. To begin with, why is she that angry? What’s with all the yelling? Aren’t we supposed to be more chilled, for we all live near the beach surrounded by georgeous women and coconuts? Is that like, the Boston temper?

Also, the slogan: “Become a Football Expert”. Brazilian men use to mock the female audience in world cup years, saying that all of the sudden women think they can understand everything about soccer.
So Gisele is kind of playing that part. For all Brazilian women are like that: hot, beautiful and…emotional.

But again, they could have used any other girl. Instead, they’ve picked up her.
So I think the real real point is – besides showing her magnificent body – is to show how many super über starts we have, not to mention the super über budget they have.

Anyway, Brazilian audience have probably loved it. And so will do the international, so why bother?


Gisele: I know where you missed it.
Pelé: Where did I miss it?
Gisele: You went too straight all the way, if only you have moved a little bit you’d have scored!
Pelé: move a little bit…
Gisele: You’d have done history if you’ve scored this goal.
Pelé: Gisele, I’ve scored over a thousand goals!
Gisele: But this one you haven’t….”you know”? (Gisele immitates Pele’s typical way of ending any sentence)
Pelé: Insolent girl…


Gisele: I can’t believe it…you pass through all the defense…you take the goalkeeper off your way and when you finally get to the line, you do a little kick. What little kick is that? KICK LIKE A MAN, DUDE!!
Romario: I was showing off…my bad, fish* (*slang, means dude or man)
Gisele: Not fish!
Romário: okay….Mermaid.
Gisele: Insolent short guy…

* (I have translated both ads myself. You’ll probably find some mistake on it. If you do, please let me know.)

Reciprocidade.

April 19, 2010

Aos amigos católicos e-praticantes,
Eu não fico mandando corrente ateísta por e-mail.
Aos que opinam o contrário,
Eu não fico mandando piadinha multimídia sobre a classe média neo-nazista brasileira.

Isso seria falta de respeito.
Seria muito pedir reciprocidade?

“Um Beixu Goxxtosu, Brazil.”

April 17, 2010

A brazilian reporter tells Jennifer Aniston that the first thing she needs to learn in Portuguese is how to send a big sweet kiss to her brazilian fans, or as he translates, a delicious kiss.
And then, with some constipated nose and the strongest Rio’s accent EVER, he says:
“UM BEIXU GOSXXTOSU BRASIL”.
Jennifer Aniston’s face is telling SAY WHAT but still she breathes and tries to figure out what the hell is he saying. Then he explains, “a delicious kiss”, but really I’m not sure if she got that right. Anyway, she tries. And I don’t know why the reporter insists on his accent, like he wanted her to learn, in 3 seconds, not only to speak Portuguese but to speak like she was some singer fom Bahia.
Try as she might, with her lips very tight like she had to speak and kiss at the same time, Jennifer says:

A letter to Michael Moore.

March 6, 2010

Dear Mr. Moore,

This is the first time I leave a message in the website.  Always wanted to, but only now I’ve found a really good reason.

I’ve found this movie that I didn’t even know about, a 2004 Spanish production (Almodóvar’s) documentary about my country’s social movement called Movimento Sem-Terra (Landless Movement), one of the largest and better organized social movements of the world. Here is the link to watch it online and I’d like to share it with you.

It is amazing how much we don’t know about our own countries. In Brazil this movement couldn’t be more unpopular. People say they are a bunch of lazy, ignorant, corrupted and criminal people, who make manifestations as an excuse for not working, and which have no right at all of “invading private properties”.
People don’t know a thing.
Brazil is a fascist society in disguise, mind-ruled by the media and frightened by the authorities.

Headlines in brazilian newspaper about Carajás massacre in 1996.

Hillary Clinton recently said that “Brazil and the United States are the two countries more alike than any two countries in the world.” Right now, she couldn’t be more right. Although we’d certainly wish that our similarities were only the best of each country.

I’m not anti-american, or anti-brazilian. I am anti-BULLSHIT. Just like you.
Thank you so much for inspiring and encouraging so many people to go out there and fight for their rights and for the truth.
All the best.

“Los Sin Tierra”
Click here to watch it online.
Spain, 2004.
Director Miguel Barros
Narrator Cecilia Roth
Producer Agustín Almodóvar (El Deseo)
Best Documentary award in Malaga Fill Festival, 2004.

Support MST - http://www.mstbrazil.org/

MARIO TESTINO Rio de Janeiro.

October 24, 2009


How easier could’ve been to win 2016 Olympics with THAT book in presentation?

Click here to look inside.

October 22, 2009

Os pensamentos andam mais polêmicos que de costume esses dias.
Quero que fique claro, agora e sempre, que eu sou da opinião de que qualquer assunto deve ser levantado e discutido. Nada deve ser tabu, principalmente numa época como essa, onde nosso moralismo, de fundo judaico-cristão-passivo, está por um fio, tantas foram as provas do seu fracasso.
Posso escrever algo hoje e amanhã mudar de opinião. Que bom. Estamos todos aqui pra crescer.
Seguindo.

“Estupra, mas não mata.”

October 21, 2009

O Maluf só não é Hitler porque é mais esperto. Porque o grau de desumanidade dessa frase não só choca como irrita, pelo contexto no qual foi dita. E nós. Nós só não somos monstros porque ninguém é tonto de assumir nada. E porque a gente já sabe o resultado do radicalismo festivo. Gerações passam e ninguém consegue tirar essa mancha de sangue da Alemanha. Até hoje se ouve comentários, entre velhos e poucos viajados, que os alemães não são boa gente. (Isso incluindo a Espanha, um país que tratou de explusar todos os judeus do país no final do século XV, mas enfim.)
Os alemães definitivamente mexeram com o povo errado. E do jeito errado. O tiro não podería ter saído mais pela culatra. Hollywood que o diga.

E hoje? Gueto não é gueto porque não está cercado?
E nós? Não somos monstros porque não matamos?
E eles? Os novos “judeus”? Não são eternamente coitados porque não são ricos?
Hoje o ódio evoluiu.
O racismo é pior. O ódio é maior. O gueto é global.
E ninguém se mete a besta pra tirar onda de Hitler.

Se não tem Auschwitz, não tem drama. Se nao tem Hitler, não tem racismo. Não é história. “Estupra mas não mata”, o marketing do ódio. Pra dar resultado a longo prazo, não seja polêmico: seja politico. Deixe que o radicalismo se queime sozinho, dê nome à categoria, que sejam jogados na fogueira e salvem a todos nós. Skinheads, neo-nazistas, ultra-coxinhas. Que cuspam em gays, batam nas mulheres e matem os pobres. Graças a Deus existe o mal, para livrar-nos dele.

Preto, latino, asiático, polonês, iraquiano, romeno.
Em 1933, os alemães usavam cartazes de boicote na frente das lojas judias.
Em 2009, a televisão diz que chinês esconde mercadoria no lixo pra depois vender. E que brinquedos Made in China podem ser mais baratos, mas vão envenenar seu filho.
O mercado de trabalho não aceita romenos porque têm fama de ladrões. Além de dar azar.
Os latinos são feios, preguiçosos e burros. Servem pra fazer…trabalho de preto.
Não?

Mas se não tem conflito, não tem problema. Se não tem ninguém lá na frente, encarnando o ódio e a guerra em pessoa, não deve ser tão grave assim. E Hitler ainda tinha o interesse financeiro por trás de toda aquela perseguição. Hoje o boicote é gratuito, o ódio é cru. O preconceito não tem nenhum motivo por trás senão o desprezo, a raiva, o ódio pela diferença.

As gerações passam e ninguém aprendeu a tirar essa swastica do peito.
Bando de gente burra.

Sucos Bárbaros.

October 20, 2009

Maria Betâmara (tamarind), Maracugil (passion fruit), Galraná Costa (guaraná) e Abacaetano (avocado).
These are the flavours of “Sucos Bárbaros”, created by a brazilian design company as a parody of “Doces Bárbaros”, a post-tropicalist group formed by Maria Bethânia, Gilberto Gil, Gal Costa and Caetano Veloso in the 70′s.
In the USA, designer Marc Valega has created the Beatle Juices, with fab-four-flavours John Lemon, Apple McCartney, George Pearrisson and Mango Starr.
(Istoé-Online)

If you say so.

October 14, 2009

“Brazilian Baia is a smooth and subtle tea with the romantic aromatic flavours of vanilla, cocoa and coconut, and the experience is one of indulgence. It truly is reminiscent of Brazil, the land of the sensual and exotic lifestyle.

By the way, the tea’s actually really good. Doesn’t taste like mulatas, but it’s pretty close.

A message to Spotify.

October 12, 2009

Hello,
Your radios suck. All of them.
Since when jazz + blues + alternative + soul + new wave = julio iglesias + death metal? And sometimes, KARAOKE?

Seriously, as soon as I find a better free-replacement for last.fm, I give up on you guys.

Assim era em 1833.

September 30, 2009

Poker face.

August 24, 2009


New season of American Idol’s Brazilian franchise Ídolos, has a transexual contestant, Lívia Mendonça, from Ceará, northeast of Brazil.

Host Rodrigo Faro, who’s been working on TV since like forever, can’t hide his small-minded yuppie dull face when she tells him “she’s not a woman”.

I don’t know what pisses me off the most: his face or hers, embarassed for his reaction, looking almost ashamed of what she is.

Honey, I hope you get as far as you can in this contest, if it makes you happy. And I hope you leave it before those faces get worse, and profitable.

“Pérolas do Orkut”.

August 16, 2009

Before Facebook, there was Orkut.
And even before the world came to know the existence of Orkut, brazilian users had it almost completely dominated, turning out to be today 52% of total Orkut users, followed by India, with 19,31%.
But even before some users learned to write, they began to type. Posting photos. Making communities. Posting comments that shouldn’t be published.

Before social inlcusion, there was digital inclusion in Brazil. And before we noticed, Orkut became one of Brazilians’ best tools of entertainment: making fun of the poor.

Unlimited content of ugly, shacky, illiterate, filthy and nasty people.
Our own private horror show.

Which you can find categorized here. www.perolasdoorkut.com.br

This is what we are. Coherent.

July 30, 2009

Vogue Brasil cover, june 2009.

THE PERFECT BODY – Anti-flaccidity collagen candy and fitness tips from Paris to India.
A Hot Guide for vacations in Thailand, Escandinavia, Peru and Goa.
GLOBAL MIX – Luxurious winter with rustic fringes and textures. Isabeli Fontana show how to use it.
HI-LO AGAINST CRISIS – 4 amazing looks matching fast fashion and couture.

isabeli-fontana-for-vogue-brazil-cover


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